Memories and thoughts........
I want to thank Our Military for their service to Our Country. I appreciate you protecting me and my children. It don't go unnoticed. THANK YOU!!!!
I was over at Grandma's blog and her post made me remember a few things growing up. I am one of 6 children. I am number 4. We had a nice life as a child. Wasn't spectacular but we had what we needed. Dad when he worked worked midnights. ( He hurt his back at work and was in the hospital often.) Mom waited tables. We sure enjoyed life. We would use our imagination and play outside all day. I recall family issues and such, but kids never were involved in adult things back then. We didn't know the extent of it all. Now looking back, with 6 kids who were within 9 yrs of each other how can you not?
Oh anyways, the reason for the post.....
My oldest brother passed away as a young adult. A car wreck, at the age of 23. He still lived with Mom and Dad. So did my younger sister "~L", baby brother "-P" and my older brother"-C". My older sister "~K" and I were married with kids by then. I remember the knock on my door as if it was yesterday, and it was 20 yrs ago. My Aunt then my Mom along with their Cousin were standing there My Dad was walking up the steps. It was 2am on a Saturday. All I asked was "Who is it and are they OK?". My Mom then opened the screen door and said, "it was "-G" and no hun he isn't ok". She held me then. (Oh let me rewind a bit here, as I heard the knock on my door, I told my ex-husband that someone was at the door. I said are you going to answer it. He said No. So I had to. Now why am I surprised I am divorced? At 2 am, I want a husband who feels protective and wants to answer the door. to continue......) I remember sitting on the floor by the front door and thinking I needed to be held by my husband. I walked into my bedroom. (cuse he still didn't come out.) I sat there telling him what happened. I heard my family saying, "I wonder if she is ok. Maybe we should check." I then walked out to them and said we will get dressed and get our son to my in-laws. We went to my parents house.
I recall seeing the scanner, see my Dad used to be a firefighter before he hurt his back and there was a scanner in our house as long as I remember. Well till this day. Mom heard the call over the scanner, you know names are never put over the radio, we know why. She had asked my Dad if my older brothers were home, as they both lived at home. My Dad said he heard them go upstairs. But he didn't hear both of them. He heard "-C" go upstairs, then "-C" went back down the stairs and my Dad didn't hear him till he went back up. So he thought he heard both of them. Then....the knock came. We are from a small town. So small our firefighters are our neighbors and friends. They all knew my Mom growing up and they knew this was her son and his friend. My Brothers BEST Friend was on the fire department. Now that was sad. Mom when told the news, she walked right in and beat that scanner. She threw it and stomped on it. Funny it worked after. But not at my parents house.
To make this long story (kinda) short. Mom took all the pictures of my brother down. It was a difficult time I know, but she still don't have but one picture up. We don't talk about my brother. It is a taboo. Me being out of the house when it happened, I was able to adjust better. The siblings living in the house at the time still have a hard time saying his name. Mom acts as if he is a memory she rather forget. I know it would be hard. It would be difficult. I would have pictures all over though. I would be afraid to take them down. Afraid I would forget the face I put so much love into. I as a Mom now, I can't know what I would do actually. But I just can't imagine not talking about my sons. I can't imagine not seeing the pictures I have. I do try to understand and let her do it her way. I allow her to deal with it the way she can.
I am blessed to be the mother to these 3 wonderful boys. The Lord is Good.
My point is.....It is amazing how people react to situations so differently.
I was over at Grandma's blog and her post made me remember a few things growing up. I am one of 6 children. I am number 4. We had a nice life as a child. Wasn't spectacular but we had what we needed. Dad when he worked worked midnights. ( He hurt his back at work and was in the hospital often.) Mom waited tables. We sure enjoyed life. We would use our imagination and play outside all day. I recall family issues and such, but kids never were involved in adult things back then. We didn't know the extent of it all. Now looking back, with 6 kids who were within 9 yrs of each other how can you not?
Oh anyways, the reason for the post.....
My oldest brother passed away as a young adult. A car wreck, at the age of 23. He still lived with Mom and Dad. So did my younger sister "~L", baby brother "-P" and my older brother"-C". My older sister "~K" and I were married with kids by then. I remember the knock on my door as if it was yesterday, and it was 20 yrs ago. My Aunt then my Mom along with their Cousin were standing there My Dad was walking up the steps. It was 2am on a Saturday. All I asked was "Who is it and are they OK?". My Mom then opened the screen door and said, "it was "-G" and no hun he isn't ok". She held me then. (Oh let me rewind a bit here, as I heard the knock on my door, I told my ex-husband that someone was at the door. I said are you going to answer it. He said No. So I had to. Now why am I surprised I am divorced? At 2 am, I want a husband who feels protective and wants to answer the door. to continue......) I remember sitting on the floor by the front door and thinking I needed to be held by my husband. I walked into my bedroom. (cuse he still didn't come out.) I sat there telling him what happened. I heard my family saying, "I wonder if she is ok. Maybe we should check." I then walked out to them and said we will get dressed and get our son to my in-laws. We went to my parents house.
I recall seeing the scanner, see my Dad used to be a firefighter before he hurt his back and there was a scanner in our house as long as I remember. Well till this day. Mom heard the call over the scanner, you know names are never put over the radio, we know why. She had asked my Dad if my older brothers were home, as they both lived at home. My Dad said he heard them go upstairs. But he didn't hear both of them. He heard "-C" go upstairs, then "-C" went back down the stairs and my Dad didn't hear him till he went back up. So he thought he heard both of them. Then....the knock came. We are from a small town. So small our firefighters are our neighbors and friends. They all knew my Mom growing up and they knew this was her son and his friend. My Brothers BEST Friend was on the fire department. Now that was sad. Mom when told the news, she walked right in and beat that scanner. She threw it and stomped on it. Funny it worked after. But not at my parents house.
To make this long story (kinda) short. Mom took all the pictures of my brother down. It was a difficult time I know, but she still don't have but one picture up. We don't talk about my brother. It is a taboo. Me being out of the house when it happened, I was able to adjust better. The siblings living in the house at the time still have a hard time saying his name. Mom acts as if he is a memory she rather forget. I know it would be hard. It would be difficult. I would have pictures all over though. I would be afraid to take them down. Afraid I would forget the face I put so much love into. I as a Mom now, I can't know what I would do actually. But I just can't imagine not talking about my sons. I can't imagine not seeing the pictures I have. I do try to understand and let her do it her way. I allow her to deal with it the way she can.
I am blessed to be the mother to these 3 wonderful boys. The Lord is Good.
My point is.....It is amazing how people react to situations so differently.
posted by The One (I know how to be) @ 11/04/2006 06:38:00 AM
1 Comments:
At 4:00 PM,
Call Me Grandma said…
It is amazing...you are right we are all different.
What got me through Dave's death is focusing on Christ's passion. I feel Dave's death was my agony, my passion, but not yet crucifixion. I have learned from Christ's passion how I should act and behave. Believe it or not , I am closer to God because of Dave's death. When Dave died I felt in the depth of my soul, that he was in a better place, and I would be with him again. Dan said he felt the same way. Ugh doesn't say much. He is not as open booked as I am.
I bet your mom has her private moments when she thinks of your brother. They are special moments to her.
Your story really touched me K. {{{{{{BIGG HUGGGS}}}}}} to you and your mom.
Post a Comment
<< Home