I love my sons.... and a rant

I want to thank Our Military for their service to Our Country. I appreciate you protecting me and my children. It don't go unnoticed. THANK YOU!

I am off work today. Actually for a few days. It seems nice to have this time off. My lil' Dude is enjoying it. Waking up ever morning walking out to the dining room where I am at saying to me "Morning Mother." It warms my heart. It makes me wish we could have mornings like this everyday. We hug and I get my first kiss of the day. He is such a delight in the mornings. Probably will be like me, morning person. One of my sons needs to be. The other two like to sleep till noon.
LONG STORY HERE, blowing off steam so please bear with me.
Lil' Dude's Dad dropped off lil' dude a few days ago. While dropping him off I asked dad if his sister got the job she had an interview for a few weeks ago. (his mom told me she had an interview.) He said he didn't ask, he forget. Same thing his Mom said to me, forgetting to ask. Well he then went back to his sister acting all pissed that his mom is telling family secrets to me. hhmm Job interview a secret, ok. Anyways the sister got right on the phone and called the mom. I then received a YIM from mom telling me she was going to be out of town but when she got back we had to talk about what I said to her son. She received a call from her daughter and it wasn't nice.
I was at first trying to rack my brain, what could I have said to upset the dad? What did I do this time? Nothing I know I didn't do anything. I have been trying my best to be nice and to keep things civil. Small talk here and there. Staying generic with dad. Then I remembered I asked about his sister, hhmm. Why would that cause a huge blow out? I thought about it. Knowing Dad as I do, I knew he went right to his sister. So I taking matters into my own hands, while mom was out of town and wanting to put an end to this. I e-mailed sister. I forwarded it to the Mom and lil dude's Dad too. That way they all got the same e-mail. They all knew what was said and no one could add to it. I wrote this:

Hello Sister, I am sorry to be bothering you. I got a weird message from your mother
Here it is, take it for what you want
Mother:(8/27/2006 12:29:07 PM): you and I need to talk in couple days, and I want some truth and honesty from you about what was said to lil dude's Dad etc, sure got nasty call from sister and it wasn't nice, wont be back till tomorrow nite,

Not sure what the call was about and it really is none of my business. As far as I know and the only thing I can say is I asked her if you got your job. Your Mom did tell me several weeks ago you had an interview. I had asked her and she says she keeps forgetting to ask. Do I talk to your Mom about your brother? Very little. I don't want to go there with her nor anyone else. He is her son, I am not stupid enough to think it would do anything good. I do spout of once in awhile saying he hasn't seen nor talked to lil dude. I send her voice waves lil dude makes as he is her grandson. I wish her happy holidays and even chat once in awhile. Not to hurt the dad, not to destroy any thing they have as a family. I am not that way. I have protected your brother for years, why would I stop now?
If I have an issue with your brother I will confront him. I don't need to go through your mother. If he feels like I am going behind his back, so be it. It is his issue really not mine. He e-mails my sister and I talk to his mom. I am not trying to cause waves, I do not want your mother to get in the middle of your brother and I. The Issues I have with him and him with me should stay between us.
I haven't talked to your mom in a few days. I thought you were a safe topic for your mother and I. I honestly wondered if you got that job. I wanted to hear some good news. NO BIG DEAL. I will continue to send sound waves and things to your mother from lil dude. They are cute. I enjoy lil dude and love to share him. Who better then his Grandma? I ask your brother about your Dad and Step Mom. I ask about brothers 1 and 2 sometimes too. I ask about your sons. I am sorry if your brother can't understand that. As I have asked him several times about all of you. It is never indepth family history. It is always superficial answers from both your brother and your mother. It is all I am asking really. Just conversation. I laugh at your mom and hope I can give her some laughs too. I am not out to get your brother nor anyone else in your family. I do try and make lil dude feel as if he don't have to hide your side of his family from me so he don't get mixed emotions. I talk about your sons and I even play around with and talk to Dads other son so lil dude feels comfortable and secure. I am his Mother. I know my role. I know my place. Your brother obviously came to you after I asked him if you got that job. He is the one who put more into it then there is. I just wondered if you got your job. Feel safe in knowing I don't pry into your brothers life. I don't go digging for information. Your mother will defend him if I get upset when there is a period of time he hasn't seen lil dude. Your mother takes good care of your brothers personal life. HE IS HER SON, I get that. I just like to laugh with her. She is funny. We know our limits of friendship and I would never compromise her relationship with your brother. I am a mother too you know. I don't care to find out stuff about your brother. I don't and wont put your mother in that position either. We just laugh and I send her things from her grandson.

So with all that said, I hope you got your job. I hope you have a good day. Just know I am glad lil dude has an Aunt who loves him as you do, and cousins he cares for. (I don't care what your brother does in his life as long as he don't hurt my son, which I totally expect and tell him so. Only time will tell.)

Just my side of the stupid crap.
~The One.


Well in response the Dad tried to act like he was something important. He e-mailed to all and said he would talk to me alone. OOOHHHH!! Waited for the alone e-mail. When it came it said:

I am not sure why and how you thought you had to respond to that or even like that. Don't get me wrong, I told you I don't care you and mom talk as long as it is about you and her and lil dude. Enough said. Hope you had a good weekend and I will get with you for getting lil dude one night again, going to be scarce with working midnights but I will make an attempt to have him before this wknd.

I replied:

This is a funny reply, as it is you who caused this rift between your mother and your sister. Your mad at me and direct it towards your mother? You think it wrong of her telling me your sister had a job interview (petty), well I think it wrong you feel as if she tells me about you. She is your mother The Dad. She has YOUR BACK. She wouldn't do the things you obviously believe of her. I don't ask about you, I don't get information about you. We avoid you for the most part. It is safer for us and we realize that. Why don't you tell your sister I have your permission to talk to your mother. She obviously thinks it isn't so. You have said enough to get your sister mad at your mother for things you know nothing about. ENOUGH SAID!!
I am done. I will delete your mother from my email. I will delete her from my Pal. You explain to her why lil dude wont be sending her holiday greetings and explain to her why I am not there laughing with her. Letting her feel a bit connected to lil dude. I used to let lil dude say "HI GRANDMA" on Pal. She felt great and it made her feels special in front of her friends. I didn't see anything wrong with that. It helped her the dad. But since you want to make an issue with your Mom and her Daughter, no more. You will not use me in that way. Your done using me. DONE!
At Church today we discussed not going to bed mad, getting it out and not letting the devil get a foot hold in. Seems I am always mad at you, you never have and I realize never will give me what I deserve. I will get passed this as I always do. This time, The Good Lord will help and you will have your role and you will know your place. Fix this between your sister and your mother. She loves you the dad. Don't stab her in the back by putting a rift between her and your sister. She don't stab you in the back no matter what you think. As far as lil dude, don't destroy him as you have others.

to which he replied: (and it still erks me today)
Rift? Me? I am not arguing with you and I will tell my sister you all can and do talk. Hell that is how I get my information, lol.
Church? I am impressed. Did you know lil dudes brother asked lil dude the other day if you all went to church? I am glad you are going now.
Talk to you later. Get some rest.

to which I then replied:
Glad lil dudes brother and lil dude have a good relationship. Don't worry about me getting rest. I know you worry so much about me.
I will make sure I am involved in your life as little as possible, but lil dude is my son the dad. I take that very serious. One thing you have always underestimated in me is my love for my children. Family is huge to me. If we're to be the best parents for lil dude, I will have to deal with you. But make no mistake, I do what's best for my sons. No matter what. Sometimes I have to step back and think to make the correct decision. Allow me that, and I will work on my total lack of trust for you. As we both know there has to be a certain amount of trust in the other parent. I have none in you, I will work on that. Not making any promises, and doing my best. I am only human after all.
So did your sister get a job? (HAHAHA- still have a sense of humor)


he replied he was glad we could still laugh together.
His Mom e-mailed me with a thank you. Believing the e-mail did some good. She knows he plays both sides. She understands it all. Yet she dosen't hold him accountable. I am so done. told her I am and him too. I want nothing to do with all that drama. It wears on me to much.
Thanks for letting me blow off steam and getting it out.
Enjoy your day and smile at a sranger.